25 Funny Valentine's Day quotes and messages

February 04, 2019

25 Funny Valentine's Day quotes and messages

Love it, loathe it or dread it, Valentine’s Day is nearly here, but it doesn't just have to be about love and romance it can be laughs and humour, too. If you're looking for the perfect thing to add to your Valentine's Day cards, a funny Valentine's Day quote may be just the thing.

1. ''All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.” ― Charles M. Schulz

2. “Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing.” ― Hanako Ishii

3. ''After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate." — Mel Gibson

4. ''Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don't need an appointment." — Catherine Aitken

5. ''I love you more than chocolate, but please don’t make me prove it''. Anonymous

Valentine's Day White Chocolate heart with strawberries

Very Berry' Belgian White Chocolate Heart with strawberries, raspberries and meringue

 

6. ''Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." — Will Ferrell

7. ''Love is a game that two can play and both win''. Eva Gabor

8. ''I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon''. Anonymous

9. ''Every day I fall more in love with you, except those days where you really annoy me''. Anonymous

10. ‘’I love being married, is so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life’’ - Rita Rudner

11. "My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to." Rita Rudner

Valentine's Day Cupid with bow and arrow

12. "Never go to bed mad—stay up and fight." Phyllis Diller

13. "One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry." Oscar Wilde

14. "The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." Ann Landers

15. "Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love." Yiddish Proverb

16. "To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." H. L. Mencken

17. "True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." Erich Segal

18. "Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married people are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is." Anonymous

romantic valentines day with roses and champagne

19. "Women are cursed, and men are the proof." Rosanne Barr

20. "Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day." Mickey Rooney

21. "I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up for 3 hours and watched whatever I wanted on TV." Tracy Smith

22. "It is impossible to love and be wise." Francis Bacon

Valentine's Day Chocolate Gifts for him men Boxed Chocolate Bars  Valentine's Day Chocolate Gifts for her women Chocolate Heart Bars

Gift Boxed Bars and Heart Gift Bars - All available in milk, white and dark chocolate varieties

23. "It’s funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception." Ally McBeal

24. "Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion." Mirabeau

25. "A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting." Helen Rowland 




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